She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
