i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
