Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
