so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Drunk is a universal language darling
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