john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
