I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
