We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
