You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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