he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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