How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
