Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
