how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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