You're completely useless in the revolution.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
