Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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