i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
