you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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