And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
