And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
