I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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