any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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