I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
