I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
