Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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