Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
