and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
