sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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