I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i think i just lost a toe
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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