I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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