The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
