She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
