Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
