You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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