She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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