mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
