true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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