we have officially lost it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He better not be in your backpack
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
