How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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