I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
