She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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