OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
