he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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