if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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