craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
