He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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