so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
