the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
