I think I just saw someone hide a body.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
