Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
