I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
