My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
that is very illegal...i love you.
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