On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize