Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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