Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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