I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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