i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
