And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
