i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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