So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
