Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
did i walk over a car last night?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
