The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
