I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
