Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
