party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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