Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
