Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
