He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
