I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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